Navigating Single Parenthood After Loss: 7 Essential Steps to Cope and Thrive

The loss of a parent or partner, whether through physical loss or absence, is a reality faced by millions of people every year.

Finding yourself in this situation is often confronting, confusing and overwhelming as the need to keep moving forward in day to day life becomes burdened by emotions of grief and a sense of hopeless for the future. As the fear, anger and sadness flood in it can feel like an emotional weight that is difficult to carry.

As a single parent you may experience mental anguish over how to cope on your own and be the best parent and role model you can. It is easy to ask 'Why is this happening to me?' when in reality it is children, who are still in the process of developing their neurology and understanding of the world they live in, that are more confused by the same question.

If your life has been impacted by profound loss, here we outline 7 ways to help navigate the emotional landscape.

Acknowledge Your Grief

While this may sound obvious, we all process grief differently and sometimes grief does not set in until long after the event. Understanding the Kübler-Ross Grief Cycle helps you identify the different stages of grief for you and your children - denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

Acknowledging the grief process enables compassion as it is a natural part of being human and encourages us to find healthy ways to express emotion. How long grief lasts depends on your individual circumstances and the ability to find acceptance and empowerment to step into a new cycle of life with confidence.

Establish Healthy Routines

Creating a stable environment for yourself and your children as early as possible is important to create certainty and predictability to foster a sense of safety, security and wellbeing. Having a regular routine means children know what to expect next, rather than feeling alone and frightened for the future.

Through the grief process parents may lose sight of themselves and although a period of isolation may be needed, connecting with others through a support group, hobby, and incorporating self-care practices into daily life can positively impact your physical, mental and emotional health.

Reassess Your Values

Often we go through life doing what we've always done, a significant change in circumstances creates an opportunity to reassess what you value, that is, what's truly important. Ensuring a safe, stable and happy environment for children should always be a key focus and this may mean making some adjustments.

Having open conversations with your children about their needs is important, knowing that these needs will change over time. Focusing on future goals creates momentum so you can implement short-term strategies while developing longer-term plans.

Plan for the Future

Having a solid support network will be of great value, particularly in the early weeks and months, however this is not always available and you might find there is significant juggling until you find a new routine.

If you've taken the opportunity to reassess your future values and goals you can now start planning for how to thrive into the future. In addition to planning for daily needs, you might consider factoring in resources for future emotional needs.

Fostering Resilience in Your Children

Based on your life experiences, you've likely noticed that life doesn't always go to plan, in fact, often our life journey is a windy road. While we can plan for the future, maintaining flexibility and being open to changing needs is an important part of building resilience.

That are many strategies for increasing resilience and emotional intelligence (EQ) after experiencing a significant life challenge or event. It is important to appreciate that a child's neurology is still developing and their ability to understand and interpret events and information is different from an adult.

3 basic ways to build resilience include:

1. Reframing or taking a different perspective. For example, instead of feeling sad for what has been lost, we can be happy for all the beautiful memories that were created.

2. Focusing on the future and creating new goals. This creates forward momentum, direction and purpose, rather than becoming stuck in the past.

3. Practicing gratitude, regardless how simple. For example, being grateful for having an umbrella on a rainy day! This helps us notice the blessings in our life.

   
   

Seeking Professional Help

As reliance shifts to one parent, children look for reassurance, leadership and to learn successful coping strategies. After all, parents and carers are their child's first leaders and teachers. Many parents are not equipped with the skills and strategies to navigate major life change and upheaval.

A life and transformation coach isn't just for developing resilience, leadership and enhancing emotional intelligence (EQ) in executives and corporate leaders, we all need these life skills to better navigate change and challenge. Many of us were never taught how to process emotions in healthy ways, rarely is it taught in schools and wisdom from family communities are mostly absent from todays societies.

If you're lacking clarity, finding it difficult to set new goals or find balance, working with a professional can help.

While counselling and psychology offers traditional approaches, a specialist transformation coach focuses on helping you create a compelling future by releasing the negative emotions that hold you back. Other complementary therapies such as energy healing, yoga-mediation and spiritual coaching can also help support healing at deeper levels of the mind, body and spirit connection.

Choosing to Thrive

If you're looking for help to move through grief quicker, develop resilience and enhance emotional intelligence, Jo Barnett, Master Coach at MindBody Balanced is a life and transformation coach specialising in helping others navigate grief and anxiety. After losing her husband and raising two small children as a single parent, she takes a compassionate, non-judgemental and future-focussed approach to guiding others through these spiritual experiences.

We hope you found this information useful.

The MindBody Balanced Team x.

www.mindbodybalanced.com.au